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Alright, I’ll try…
Your title-and-subtitle are arguably lacking. They’re overly vague and confusing, which deters sales. I’d rewrite them to articulate more clearly what your project is and why it ‘s relevant. And to include some more good keywords to help the right searchers to find you.
Your project image is adequate but rather lackluster. It would be better to find something that draws attention to itself, looks amazing, shows your project’s benefits to people at-a-glance, and arouses viewers’ curiosity to know more.
Your video is similarly vague and confusing. It was interesting to watch but gave me no clear idea what your project is all about. As such, it’s better-suited for art than sales. It would be better to produce a new video that hooks attention within 5 seconds, presents your project’s benefits to people clearly and persuasively at an even pace, shows your team, and ends with a strong call-to-action to pledge, all within 1-3 minutes.
Your goal isn’t unreasonable. But your project is software, and it’s harder than average for software projects to succeed on Kickstarter.
The rest of your page should normally start with a good hook but, again, yours is rather lackluster. You might want to consider presenting your entire sales pitch in the condensed form of a single power-packed paragraph and/or simple infographic, perhaps accompanied by a few powerful positive review quotations. It should be kept brief, though.
Most people will skim down your page, so it helps to use good section headers and structure and images to help people find what interests them, but your page doesn’t have much clear structure to it. Normally, you’ll want to present three factors in order, which are benefits, then costs, and finally your personnel.
As for your project’s benefits, I’m having trouble finding them. I can’t even figure out very clearly what your features (which provide those benefits) are. It seems to include an online forum, but I’m not sure why this forum will be better than those already in existence. Your information all terribly vague and confusing—and, so, rather than motivating me to want to buy anything, it motivates me to want to go visit another page or site that won’t leave me feeling confused.
As for your project’s costs, people can find this information in your page’s right column, but this information isn’t very clear, so it helps to reformat it into something better. This normally means a simple infographic that enables viewers to see instantly what their options are for rewards and how much each option will cost them—and to compare prices instantly. Adding a few bold call-to-action buttons connected to your checkout page can help.
As for your project’s personnel, it’s important because, whenever people find your benefits sufficiently desirable and costs sufficiently acceptable, they might feel lingering concerns about your ability to fulfill your promises. So, it’s good to end your page by resolving such concerns, showing that your team is genuine, likable, trustworthy, competent, and/or guided by laudable values. This can involve various items like photographs with names and titles, a good true creation and/or development story, a budget, a schedule, citations of relevant past successes, et cetera. You have a schedule and a budget, at least, but you should add more.
So, your presentation is not well-suited to sell anything in its present form. Your campaign media is like an electronic salesperson and an effective salesperson needs to not only look nice but also speak intelligibly. So, I’d completely overhaul your presentation to make it not only look nice but also communicate clearly what you’re offering—and communicate so that it persuades people to want to pledge. After you’ve revised your campaign media, you should probably re-launch your campaign.
And that’s my feedback, for whatever it may be worth. Feel free to ask additional questions if you have any.
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